The first time I saw Monty demonstrate Join-Up I was moved to tears. The vision in front of me was profound. Reflecting over time I recognised that the heightened connectedness between horse and human resonated powerfully with my experience of being a coach. The moment signified so much. 

 

I write this not through years of working with horses but from over 35 years as a coach. I was touched by the moment of

Join-Up not only because I love horses but because of an alignment - that unique moment can be found in the instance of learning in a coaching session too. I hope that this article will provide an introduction to student-led coaching and its commonality with the significant elements that merge to make that moment of “joining”  inspirational, powerful, exquisite, magical - in a way that seems removed from everyday life.

 

What I saw in that first experience, numerous subsequent  Join-Up demonstrations and watching my daughter on a Perfect Manners course was: Trust, understanding, empathy, acceptance, safety and security, vulnerability, allowing the other to be without judgement, clarity of communication, patience, partnership, leadership, focus, connectedness, oneness and, above all choice.

 

These qualities and skills are prerequisites for effective coaching too. Before any significant learning can take place there needs to be a connection between coach and student. What do I mean by coaching? - I would define coaching as: "the art of enhancing someone’s learning, performance, and ability to change”. Coaching can be applied in any sphere - business, sport or any human endeavour where improvement is desired.

 

How is the connectedness developed in coaching? 

I am not suggesting that you put your eyes on eyes and move your student or client around a round pen but in human language it is about the same - stepping into their world, listening to understand their view, learning their language. 

 

Fundamental to this connectedness is the coach’s belief in the student’s innate potential, their natural propensity to learn and trust in the student’s view about their own learning.

 

There are three key elements to catalyse learning:

​- connectedness

- raising awareness

- choice... increasing responsibility

 

Traditional teaching often is predicated on the teacher as expert, one who instructs with some authority to a passive learner. In the 1970s Tim Gallwey wrote The Inner Game of Tennis. It described how people learn most effectively and sustainably. This challenged coaches who advocated analysis of technique followed by detailed instruction. But since Socrates there has been recognition that education is about drawing out of the student. The “aha” or lightbulb moment of learning is possible when the student has considered and clarified their desired outcome and has greater awareness of what they are actually doing currently. This can occur with instruction but is more likely to be stimulated by open questions. Above all the student is given choice - responsibility for their learning in a mutual environment of trust. Through this, a sense of  “I can learn” develops and growing self-esteem is an inevitable outcome. 

 

Like Monty and the horse establishment, Tim’s clarity about enhanced learning increased understanding but questioned the traditional method. Forty-two years later many teachers/leaders  - in sport, in education, in business - have been inspired by the student-led or performer-led approach yet I believe there is more progress to be made across all teaching environments including equitation. There is more opportunity to fully understand the commonality of Join-Up and student centred/led coaching.

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How do we learn?

In the first five years of life we learn quite a lot!  We observe, we focus, we practise relentlessly and we want to do what grown ups are doing - thus we watch the role models who (helpfully) are everywhere. Seldom do parents instruct their toddler to walk … “lift your left foot forward, now transfer your weight, keep looking ahead”

rarely do they judge or criticise the wobble or fall ……. “no that’s wrong, why can’t you do this yet…….” 

rather they look on with pride, enthusiasm and encouragement, a tumble just part of the process not a failure.

 

Then the child goes to school and by secondary school they have become passive - a vessel into which information is poured (then endlessly tested to ensure the information can be regurgitated). Or the child becomes resistant or disengages and feels unimportant, unheard. Good schools build learning through both instruction and questioning and are passionate about their main purpose to develop every child’s potential and self-confidence.

 

What is student-led/performer-led coaching?

It is the process of helping the student find their own solution. The intent is to follow the student’s agenda and to help the student increase their focus upon what is actually happening. In David Hemery’s Coaching Dance (see below) he clarifies the polarities of coaching. On the “student-led” side, the coachee (person being coached) is supported in taking a highly participative role in the lesson.  By being asked what they want to learn, to set their goal and, through being asked their view of their learning, they take greater responsibility for the learning. When given choice we, no matter what age, begin to take ownership of our development, we feel motivated and, on a subconscious level, we feel of value. This approach necessitates that the coach has an exceptional listening skills and seeks to listen - actively, empathically and non-judgementally. An effective coach is able to “dance” across the spectrum, to be alert to the needs of the coachee in the moment.

 

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The Coaching Dance adapted from David Hemery’s  ”How to help children find the champion in themselves”

 

A lifelong curiosity

As a child I loved tennis and was fortunate to have many lessons. Some teachers were highly critical, pointing out much that I did “wrong” in their attempt to improve my game. I left these lessons feeling less able and certainly not confident that I could play these “improved” strokes in the lonely environment of a match where there is just you and what goes on inside your head. But I found one inspirational coach with whom I had great rapport and who always demonstrated belief in my potential.  I also took some riding lessons - again some instructors gave a constant critical stream of what I needed to do differently, some were more mindful that there were three of us in the relationship. They gave one instruction or asked one thought demanding question and allowed time for the shift in learning - for the pony and I to show improvement.

 

I am sure that these childhood experiences led me to be fascinated by the quest for effective teaching/coaching. In May 1979 I went on the first Inner Game of Tennis programme in the UK. All that I had almost understood about child-centred learning at PE teacher training college, came sharply into focus. I was immensely fortunate to be on that initial programme. Sir John Whitmore, Graham Alexander, Alan Fine and a number of other early Inner Gamers who gathered in Beaconsfield learned, debated, practised and were consumed by passionate exploration of this “new dimension” in coaching. I was privileged to be among these pioneers and to be taken along on an extraordinary journey of learning from an eclectic mix of national coaches and elite sportsmen who came on our early Inner Game workshops (including Mary Wanless and Audrey Townley). Using these skills to teach tennis to numerous individuals and groups over the next 15 years provided significant development for me. The hour-upon-hour repetition of attempting to use the skills appropriate for each student left me with no doubt about their efficacy. It enabled students to learn about how they learned and not simply to improve their tennis strokes. The reward of students leaving the lesson with greater confidence in their ability was enduringly powerful. 

 

Beyond that, it gave a glimpse of what is possible - the moment of connectedness between coach and student when learning is transformed. Over the following 20 years I have sought that connectedness in all my coaching - whether it be with a business executive or a sportsperson or indeed my own children.