In any children’s lesson there are two clients: the child whose desires and aims are paramount during the lesson and their parents whose expectations and desires influence the overall picture in overt, covert and subconscious ways.

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Having been a player with involved parents, a coach without children and now a coach with children, I have reflected upon the three different perspectives. With the insight of the latter stage, I recognised the complexity. Earlier without these insights my coaching benefited from the simplicity and joy of working with children for one or two hours a week unhindered by the understanding (and potential frustration) that comes with the 24/7 commitment, devotion and complex emotional bonds.

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So what do parents want from a coach or teacher? I have spoken to numerous parents and below I list their thoughts. They are in no particular order:

•  that their child learns something

•  that their child enjoys the lesson

•  that they learn a lot

•  that they improve over time

•  that the child is safe

•   that they gain in health and fitness

•  that they are occupied for an hour/day... giving respite

•  that they mix and learn social skills

•  that the coach recognises the child’s potential and encourages it

•  that the coach/teacher seeks and develops talent even when there is 

  little immediate evidence

•  that the existence of potential at whatever level is trusted by the coach

•  that the child is respected for who she/he is

•  that the child grows in self belief, self confidence because of the coach.

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Ultimately as parents, we want the coach to respect our child as a unique human being. And this for every lesson, indeed every minute of every lesson, whether the child is late, irritating, grumpy and tired or enthusiastic, focused and happy; whether they are a quick learner or progress more slowly, whether they have natural ability or emergent ability. The “contract” between coach and parent is to help the child learn tennis. The important and significant aspirations listed above are almost always unexpressed.

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It is incumbent upon all coaches to be aware of this key responsibility for the next generation. To reflect upon all aspects of our role and question how our coaching style can allow for the ultimate...... that each child develops to their fullest potential; that each child grows in self belief and develops respect for others through learning alongside others. Oh yes and enjoys learning some tennis.

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Every child deserves that level of education and care and every parent wishes for it sometimes overtly, mostly covertly.

What hinders this achievement?

Not all coaches consider or are even aware that they have a broad responsibility for the child’s overall well being. Here are some examples of what can occur:

- The coach only gives instructions and the pupil retires into absorbing passively

- The coach repeats the same instruction every time the child hits the

stroke as if he/she is deaf, forgetful or stupid
- The coach over corrects, conveying that there is only one right way

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When these scenarios occur, though they may learn something, the child leaves with the sense that the coach is an expert and that they are dependent upon that knowledge and therefore are likely feel less able, less confident themselves.

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Subtle changes......profound difference

For self belief to be inspired the child needs to make choices about what they want to learn about tennis (in a particular lesson), about what options are right for their tennis strokes and their body. When given choice we, even as children, begin to take ownership of the learning, feel motivated and, on a subconscious level, feel of value.

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By asking questions during the learning process the child’s self-awareness grows, the coach accesses their innate learning ability and the “aha” moments of significant learning occur. For what actually creates a shift in performance? Some coaches advocate analysis followed by accurate appropriate instruction. But since Socrates there has been recognition that effective learning is about drawing out of the student. The “aha” on the tennis court is possible when the child has a greater awareness (heightened physical feeling) of what they are actually doing and what is the desired stroke. This can occur with instruction but is more likely to be stimulated by open questions. In this way the process of supported self discovery begins, a sense of “I can learn” develops and growing self-esteem is an inevitable outcome.

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A coach touches the child’s life. Parents, as the child’s first and most enduring educators want the coach to be a worthy role model able to support the essential gift to a child of self-belief.